You know it’s important to write tight, but most people use redundancies in their written and spoken words every day. Can you find the twenty-five redundancies in the three paragraphs below?

The blood in Dave’s veins turned to frozen ice.  He dropped down to his belly on blades of green colored grass. Screams completely engulfed him. Several of the party’s invited guest stumbled pass him at the unexpected surprise of the armed gunman’s appearance. Dave glanced at the expensive wristwatch his lover had given him as a fee gift. She’d told him to meet her here at three p.m. in the afternoon, but he didn’t think she knew her husband would be at the party. Or had she planned ahead and lured him with the false pretense that they could be together?

The actual fact of the matter was he’d come to end her three-way love triangle. Getting involved with her was an unintended mistake he would never repeat again.

Without advanced warning, shots suddenly exploded. Bullets flew through the air as her crazed husband circled around him. Dave stood up when he came to the final conclusion that a direct confrontation with the man couldn’t be postponed until later. He scanned the area for live witnesses to his impending murder, then tried to swallow through the fast-constricting, hollow tube of his throat when there was none.

What are some common redundancies you see used often in fiction?

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